Send The Bugger Back

A cop (a term derived from the fact that the original NYC police had copper badges) just went past me on a segway, I don’t care if I can see the top of his glock (is that the standard issue?) in the holster, how can you respect his authority while riding one of them things. This country.

I just ate a stuffed deep dish pizza (individual portion thank you very much) at Giordano’s (book ‘em Giordano!) and it was very nice. Only it wasn’t a pizza, it was a pie. These peksy Yanks play loose and fancy free with their bread and pastry products terminology. Come on people, get with the program.

Tonight I leave Chicaga (a City I’ve enjoyed) and head on my last overnight train jaunt to Niagara Falls though I’ll spend most of tommorow in Buffalo NY State waiting for the connecting train. My hipflask is overflowing this time round don’t you worry.

I went to Lincoln Park and I can’t believe it’s free. I thought it would be 2 goats, a wombat, 3 cows and a couple of donkeys. Instead it was a proper lions and tigers and bears oh my effort. Otters are my new favourite animal, cool little dudes they are, really graceful and nippy. Unfortunately I didn’t have quite enough time before it shut, but the only stuff that I really missed was the monkeys which is a shame, everyone likes to watch the chimps larking about.

After that I was walking through Lincoln Park and passed a football pitch (with proper nets, they’d last about 17 minutes back home) and there was a young lad of about 14 having a kick about so I joined in for a hour.

Chelsea was his team. I showed him Kinkladze’s wonder goal against Southampton in an effort to convert him but I don’t think it worked, you can but try readers.

He wasn’t bad for this side of the pond but I beat him at 10 shots from outside the box and again in 5 pens each. To be fair to the poor kid I was firing thunderbolts at him. What? It’s a man’s game. The shootout was a real nail biter, it went to sudden death but I edged it with a Shay Given-esque full length stretcher to tip it round the post. Cue shirt over head and arms in the air celebration. What?

My next purchase has to be some sneeks, these things have nearly had it. I have played football and basketball in them though, as well as hiking and then there’s the extreme orienteering most days.

Next I took a stroll along Lake Michigan which is stupidly huge. To put it in to perspective, JM was driving from here to Detroit yesterday and 4 hours later the lake would still be with him. Actually I think it’s a sea and none of these daft sods have realised. I think I should contact the relevant authority and inform them of their error. This country.

I’m blogging this directly from ahem, Hooters. Just a couple of cheeky Coronas on route to pick up my bag from the hostel is all. What?

Over.