Archive for June, 2009

Ta-rah Toronto

08/06/2009

I’m just on route to see my Great Aunt via the ‘Go Train’. Will be good to see a McDuff. Next best thing to a Bowen in my book (sorry Del!).

I think I’ll have a look about Little Italy later and will do the CN Tower tonight. Other than that I’m all out of ideas (and movies).

Ottawa tomorrow, I’m not sure how much will be happening there. Maybe I’ll be pleasently suprised. I’m very much looking forward to Montreal though, I’ve got a feeling I’ll like that City.

My Great Aunty Katie is a lovely lady, I’ve been there all day and am on the train back now. It’s too late to go up the CN Tower but I’m not that bothered as it saves me a decent wedge.

My oh my am I full, I had a massive all day brekkie at a casino we went to for lunch. Then later Katie done a full home cooked meal for me. Like my Gran, she constantly fusses over you and offers you an ulimited supply of sandwiches and choccy biscuits. Deadly stuff for fat back prevention.

I made the mistake of apologising for my trainers falling apart (not found any decent replacements yet) and the next thing I know we had stopped at a shoe shop while on the way for a quick butchers at Lake Ontario. I was never going to let her buy me a pair in a million years as she was very eager to do but it was a very nice gesture and I certainly appreciated it.

No pics taken again today (I’ll bring the A game back shortly!) so here is a view of the Chicago skyline (with Lake Michigan in the background) from the Sears Tower.

Pasta la vista

07/06/2009

I decided to get some cans in and just knock about the hostel last night but there is a distinct lack of off licenses about in Toronto and the duff (get it?) directions the miserable girl at reception had given me didn’t help. So I thought sod it and went to see ‘Drag Me To Hell’.

It wasn’t great but not bad either, the ‘Evil Dead’ style set pieces were quite good and made you go urgh lots.

What was cool was that there was a scene near the end in a location I recognised instantly, Union Station in LA. It also showed the Pacific Surfliner Amtrak train that I’ve very recently been on. It’s no myth when they say the whole of LA is a film-set.

One other thing, the majority of major train staions in Canada and America seem to be called Union Station. Why I hear you cry, I don’t know but would like to is my answer.

From here on in I’m sticking with matinée shows on this continent. I don’t want to hear hollering, whooping, raucous laughing (when there’s nowt to laugh at), cheering, jeering and clapping along with people’s plot perceptions voiced out loud. It was like being on a day trip to Wrestle-Mania with a large group of Tourettes sufferers.

At about 4 in the morning I was awoken (even with earplugs in) by a constant knocking at the door. I jumped down from the top bunk as the French dude below was still happily in the land of nod, I then opened the door in a slightly befuddled state.

Greeting me was a very animated young Italian chap waffling on about a girl, a bag and a key. After about 30 seconds of this I glanced down and noticed a young Italian chapette lying completely comatose at the door. At this point I should point out the unusual layout of the room: 1 bunk-bed and 1 double-bed (which the French guy had previously had but on that morning had to vacate for a different young Italian chapette).

So anyway, I gathered that he was looking for the girl in the double-bed as in her bag she had the other girl’s house key or something along those lines. So with the French dude’s blessing (he had now also awoke in an equally befuddled state as myself) I turned the light on and he started to shake the girl while murmuring in Italian, she was out for the count and having none of it. As he couldn’t find the bag either, he seeked my approval on plan B which I duly gave. With this he picked the girl in the doorway up and plonked her next to her friend in the double-bed. He then apologised for the inconvenience and that was the excitement over.

The Italian girls have now left in a fuzzy manner and as the French guy has also gone I’ve laid claim to the double-bed for the next 2 nights, belter.

It’s half 4 and I’ve just had my brekkie/lunch/tea of some weird healthy organic cereal (ginger, cranberries and everything) as a reaction to the daft amount of fast food I’m having to eat. There is a man sat in front of me humming along to the chorus of Toni Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’, I say man but he is humming along to the chorus of Toni Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’. Right, let’s go and have a butchers at Lake Ontario then.

I’m sure threre are a lot prettier stretches of Lake Ontario than the one on offer at Toronto harbour, average at best.

I had a quick mooch over to the CN tower too, I might go up it tonight or tomorrow night if I can bring myself to part with the exorbitant amount of cash requested for the privilege.

So now I find myself a bit bored and with nowt to do and I seemed to have just purchased a ticket to the 7:00 showing of ‘Terminator Salvation’, okay I know I said matinées only from now on but what’s a cinephile to do eh? I’ve also stocked up on some teriyaki beef jerkey, now that stuff is killing my funds as it is truly exorbitantly priced but I’m addicted.

I’ve got half an hour to kill before the film and there is a stage in the main square outside the cinema with free stuff on every night. The fella on at the moment is named Daniel Lanois and it’s not really my thing but it’s not bad though, bit like Springsteen.

Terminator was a bit bobbins really. I think Christian Bale threw such a wobbler on set when he realised he was not very good (he mumbles and shouts his way through the entire thing) in a not very good film. It is better than the last one but not a patch on the first 2. Very crass and the script is lamer than a duck at a Texas rifle convention.

Also paying homage is one thing but actively stealing scenes and shoehorning lines in from 1 and 2 is quite another. It’s not awful but it’s left me with no desire to see the coming sequels (man do they let you know there is more coming).

On the way back I realised that there is a huge cinema 1 block behind where I’m staying. I’ve been doing a 45 minute round trip each time, numpty.

One of the other things I can see on the WordPress dashboard is what searches are bringing people to the site and some are most bizarre. Yesterday I had ‘Dan Bowen Food Lion’. WTF? The most popular one is ‘Fake International Student Card’.

I’m ready to move on from Toronto now, still a full day left yet though. Just having some pasta and Ragu now. See ya.

Looney Toons

06/06/2009

I can see where hits came from for this site if a link was followed (say from my Facebook status or something). So I was curious when I saw a few from the MySpace music page of The 2nd St. Rag Stompers (one of the good bands I saw busking at the festival in Seattle). Their new profile pic is the one I took of them and put up here! I’ll invoice them when they are on CDUK.

I just rang my Great Auntie Katie before (who I don’t think I’ve ever met, unless I was a wee nipper at the time) as she lives in a town called Ajax about half an hour away from Toronto. I’m nipping up to see her on Monday. The reason I’ve come to have distant Canadian relatives is that my Grandad’s (from Glasgow) 2 sisters emigrated from Scotland many moons ago.

Today I stayed true to my MO and just wandered about to see what I came across. Nothing amazing but a decent enough city, there’d be worse places to live anyway. Barnsley is the first that comes to mind.

The most interesting area that I stumbled upon was Kensington Market which is pretty similar to Camden Market. Loads of good vintage shops, but what an effort it is to go through all the gear. If you have the stomach for it there are cheap gems everywhere, stuff that would go for double in the equivalent shops of Blighty.

All I bought was a t-shirt from an independent design place, 10 Canadian dollars which is less than 6 quid. Bargain.

Speaking of Canadian money I’m so glad they don’t have dollar bills like in The States, those things used to get me in a right tizz at counters the country over! They call their 1 dollar coins ‘loonies’ and their 2 dollar coins ‘toonies’, strange folk that they are.

I’m not sure what’s happening tonight. I’ll just hang about the hostel for a while and see if anything interesting is going on, this is one of the difficult bits about travelling solo. If not I might head down to the flicks (sad I know) as after watching about 250 films in around 18 months I’ve only watched about 4 in the last 2 (2 of them on the plane over!). Being at the matinée the other day made me realise how much I have missed my movies.

It’s a bit of a poor show from myself (though I blame Toronto) on the photo front as I didn’t really find anything worthy today. Below is a table hockey game in a Niagara Falls arcade that I sadly couldn’t play on my own. It’s the same as the one that brought so much joy in San Fran. I declare that I will own one of these at some point in my life.

Maple Leaves

05/06/2009

I’ve noticed far too many Rangers shirts knocking about in Niagara for it to be a coincidence. So I got speaking to a fella to find out what was going on, 10 miles or so away is the annual Rangers North America supporters club meeting. 1500 of them expected, blimey.

I went on the ‘Maid of the Mist’ boat tour earlier, it takes you right up to the falls. First the smaller American one (pictured below) which is still immensely powerful and then the Canadian Horseshoe Falls which is ridiculously collossus.

You were given these huge daft blue hooded ponchos but everyone is in the same boat (pun intended) so you don’t mind. We were like the blue klux clan. They were very much needed as well, it’s like being shot at with a super soaker 5000 when you get up close to the Horseshoe.

The Niagara Falls are amazing and a wonder of nature but purely as a beautiful spectacle, I still prefer the ones at Yosemite.

Other than the falls themselves I didn’t find the area very nice, it’s like a really rubbish version of Blackpool and not very well maintained. All very tacky really, the council here must be bobbins because they have wasted a real opportunity.

A guy working the fairground strength hammer thing said “Hey you look like Spenny from Kenny vs Spenny, I guess you get that a lot huh” as I walked past. Spenny?

So that’s Spenny 1, The Beatles (generic) 23 and Nigel from The Cramps 1.

Man, what a stress that was. I left too late from the hostel as the owner (who is nice but chatty) was waffling so I had to squeeze a 40 minute walk in to 25 (which is when the train was due to leave). I managed it in 24, all be it quite sweaty.

I was a bit worried though when I got there as no other passengers were about. The ticket man said it was delayed about an hour but put a sticker on my ticket to allow me to get the bus across the road, which was leaving instantly! I legged it across (easier said than done with 70 litres on your back) and just about made it.

The bus was very busy so when I went to sit down next to some bloke I first enquired if the seat was free. The guy took an age to reply and eventually said “Well I could charge”. Funny guy. I was in no mood for this sort of chump. I just said “Free as in not taken, the word has multiple meanings” and plonked my tired legs down. Manners are wasted on this lot.

2 hours or so later and I’m in Toronto, looks okay too. Bit knackered so I’m just going to take it east tonight and go explore in the morning.

Buffalo Soldier

04/06/2009

I’m on the Lake Shore Limited line (which will add another 2 or 3 states to the list) now and in a little under 12 hours I’ll be in Buffalo, a veritable tiddler compared to some of my previous conquests.

The woman sat in front of me looks like Charlize Theron. Yippedy a do dah day I hear you bellow, but Charlze Theron circa filming ‘Monster’. She also sounds and acts like her too. Yep, there are some scary motherflippers on this here continent.

It’s half midnight and I’m just passing the time before I attempt something resembling sleep by playing a Western game on my phone. It’s got little themed jokes throughout. Like, why couldn’t the pony talk? Answer to follow later.

I say resembling because this NYC bound train is different from the usual over nighters. It only has 1 deck which is fine. I’m not too pleased with the less leg room though, it’s going to be a long night.

Morning folks. 2 hours had tops, probably less. I actually found a semi- comfortable position by making use of my leg rest and the adjoining one together, but the air conditioning on these things is crazy, I was blinking freezing.

Customs are getting to be a pain in the arse. This is the 2nd time I’ve been checked without even being at a border I had to dig the green card thing right out the bottom of my bag. I think the guy in NY customs who dealt with me must have been a flipwit, for 2 reasons: he has signed me off on the green card for the end of July (I must be special as everyone else only gets 3 months) and instead of putting the date valid to on the passport stamp, he has put his initials (which is probably why I have to keep digging out the card). Next time they ask me if I’m an American citizen I’m just going to say “Yup, God bless”. Fool proof.

The “You look like The Beatles” count is easily in double figures now, mid 20s if I was to guess. I’m going to work on my Ringo – Thomas The Tank-Engine impression to use as a standard response. That’ll freak ‘em.

Brekkie was nice, Rice Krispies with a bottle of apple juice (said with a Woody Allen accent) and a big cup of ice. I’ve not had Rice Krispies in 14 years, not bad, I’m still a Ricecles man at heart though. Interestingly, Frosties don’t exist over here, they would be your Frosted Flakes.

In Buffalo now, off to find a park bench to kill 6 hours.

Ah, I’m not actually in Buffalo. I’m in Depew 12 miles away and the next bus is an hour off and apparently there’s not much in Buffalo anyway. So I’m off to walk the 2 miles to the mall to hang out with the other kids.

I’ve just crossed the border in to the town of Cheektowaga, it’s sounds exotic and romantic, it’s not. It’s like Dumplington, twinned with shithole in Belgium.

Crikey this bag is a pain, no lockers at the train station you see. Anyway, I’m in the mall now and I’m pretty much the only one who is. Am just benefiting from the free wifi from the Apple store while deciding which matinée show (not been to one of them in donkeys!) at the flicks. Terminator Salvation (poor reviews), Star Trek (good reviews) and Drag Me To Hell (Sam Raimi horror with decent reviews). Hmm, even though I’m not a Trekky I’m leaning towards that.

Speaking of Apple, the other day I went in to the Chicago store because the remote on my ear phones hasn’t been working. Impressively they just swapped them there and then with no palava or paperwork. Not so impressively it still didn’t work. So I went in to the one in the mall today and they gave me an appointment at the ‘Genius Bar’ (or some trendy marketing pap like that) for half an hour later. The bloke just poked an implement down the headphone jack and sprayed some compressed air down, fan dabby now. Quality customer service I have to say.

So Star Trek was a good choice, enthralling and invigorating from the off. Lots of sequels to follow I can imagine. That Spock is dead hard too.

Back on the train now, only for an hour or 2 though. There is a crazy old black guy wearing some sort of strange helmet and continually spraying air freshner while talking to himself. The only word I can make out is vampires. Nutters everywhere in this country I tell ya.

Right, I’m at Niagara now and have had a very brief look at the falls on route to the hostel. I’ll sign off for now though as this post is getting a daft size. Adiós.

PS Because he was a little horse. Dear oh dear, apologies for that. I just leave the coat permanently on now. Though my right trainer must have found it funny as it’s sides are splitting. Dear oh dear. Comedy gold.

Italian Kojak

03/06/2009

A cop (a term derived from the fact that the original NYC police had copper badges) just went past me on a segway, I don’t care if I can see the top of his glock (is that the standard issue?) in the holster, how can you respect his authority while riding one of them things. This country.

I just ate a stuffed deep dish pizza (individual portion thank you very much) at Giordano’s (book ‘em Giordano!) and it was very nice. Only it wasn’t a pizza, it was a pie. These peksy Yanks play loose and fancy free with their bread and pastry products terminology. Come on people, get with the program.

Tonight I leave Chicaga (a City I’ve enjoyed) and head on my last overnight train jaunt to Niagara Falls though I’ll spend most of tommorow in Buffalo NY State waiting for the connecting train. My hipflask is overflowing this time round don’t you worry.

I went to Lincoln Park and I can’t believe it’s free. I thought it would be 2 goats, a wombat, 3 cows and a couple of donkeys. Instead it was a proper lions and tigers and bears oh my effort. Otters are my new favourite animal, cool little dudes they are, really graceful and nippy. Unfortunately I didn’t have quite enough time before it shut, but the only stuff that I really missed was the monkeys which is a shame, everyone likes to watch the chimps larking about.

After that I was walking through Lincoln Park and passed a football pitch (with proper nets, they’d last about 17 minutes back home) and there was a young lad of about 14 having a kick about so I joined in for a hour.

Chelsea was his team. I showed him Kinkladze’s wonder goal against Southampton in an effort to convert him but I don’t think it worked, you can but try readers.

He wasn’t bad for this side of the pond but I beat him at 10 shots from outside the box and again in 5 pens each. To be fair to the poor kid I was firing thunderbolts at him. What? It’s a man’s game. The shootout was a real nail biter, it went to sudden death but I edged it with a Shay Given-esque full length stretcher to tip it round the post. Cue shirt over head and arms in the air celebration. What?

My next purchase has to be some sneeks, these things have nearly had it. I have played football and basketball in them though, as well as hiking and then there’s the extreme orienteering most days.

Next I took a stroll along Lake Michigan which is stupidly huge. To put it in to perspective, JM was driving from here to Detroit yesterday and 4 hours later the lake would still be with him. Actually I think it’s a sea and none of these daft sods have realised. I think I should contact the relevant authority and inform them of their error. This country.

I’m blogging this directly from ahem, Hooters. Just a couple of cheeky Coronas on route to pick up my bag from the hostel is all. What?

Over.

Dear Chicago

02/06/2009

Last night me and JM didn’t go out until about half 12 but we made up for it in the 3 short hours we had with a plethora of different drinks from around the world and a good time was had. I wouldn’t fancy the 4 hour drive he has to Detroit today but the man is a trooper.

There is a good chance that he will come to Quebec with me for a few days from Montreal as he’s never been. As well as making it more fun it will also make it considerably easier for me as I’m not sure my basic French French (as in not Canadian) will be up to it. Though I’ll have at least one day by myself where I’ll have to rely upon on my own wits and tongue, Jesus.

Now I’m loath to tell this story as it’s highly embarassing for my sen and will no doubt be used by some of you to rip the proverbial out of me in the future, but it’s too funny not to really. It may take a while.

Usually in hostels you are in bunkbeds and this one is no different. I’m in the top bunk and in the top bunk directly opposite (with a gap that can easily be closed with a large step) is Tyler. When me and JM got in at 4ish last night we were drunk but only in a merry way, I was fully aware and coherent and I remember everything that occurred the whole night. I climbed into my bed said good night and good luck and that was that.

So why I woke up at 6:45 (after my bloody scooter insurance company tried to ring me for the 4th time in a week at inconvenient hours) uncomfortably squeezed against the barrier of the bed opposite my own and pillowless, I’ve no idea. Tyler wasn’t present when I awoke (he’d gone yoga-ing) but he’d had a bit of a shock when he had woke up! How he hadn’t woke up from the off I’m not sure, he’d not even been out drinking. Not that it lessens the shame much but I should point out that it was ‘tops and tails’. My only sleep related memory is of some soft of dream regarding Al ‘Scarface’ Capone and I’ve only ever sleepwalked a couple of times before in my entire life. I hope it isn’t to become a regular thing, it would be a very dangerous habit to have for a hosteller!

So in summary, I think the moral of the tale is don’t mix your drinks.

Right, now that awful business is out of the way, onwards readers. Ed (Ed Worland) from Sydney who I met in San Fran is likely to be in Toronto at the same time as me and if so we’ll meet up, that will be a laugh as he’s a top lad.

When I can drag myself out of bed (my own!) there are a few things on the agenda that I will cover either today or tommorrow. Lincoln Zoo (which is free so I may as well go), Millenium Park (looks good in the tourist info stuff) and the shopping district on Michigan Avenue (which I think has one of those huge all American malls and I haven’t been in one yet). Depending what time I hit the streets I’ll make a decision accordingly.

The Millenium Park was ace, it’s quite small but it’s filled with lots of interesting stuff. The best bit is the Cloud Gate which is this huge pebble like sculpture. It makes the 100 grand similar thing outside the Bridgewater Hall in Manchester look, well, crap.

While on the ‘Marvelous Mile’ shopping district I finally went in to a Macys as I’ve walked past about 70 of them since I’ve been in America. Poor man’s Debenhams.

I also walked further uptown to ‘The Weiner Circle’ for a dog, which I think is the one Stephen Fry actually went to (and not Portillos). It was alright but it wasn’t worth the 2 and a half hour round trip to get there.

I didn’t mind though as walking is definetely the best way to see a City and I took in loads I wouldn’t have done otherwise.

A much needed early night tonight I think, train lag you see.

Come on feel the Illinoise

01/06/2009

By pure chance I happen to be in the same room as my Canadian room mates from San Francisco, JM and Tyler, quite strange when you consider this hostel has 5 floors.

I didn’t do much last night, by the time I’d bought some grub in, cooked it, washed my threads and had a much needed shower it was 1 in the morning. Alas, a proper bed.

After my epic journey to Chicago I was duly knackered and had a decent lie-in this morning until after 11. Though my sleep didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped as I awoke at 5am quite damp.

Hmm, I’ve never wet myself before so this is odd were my inital slightly hazy thoughts. I then realised that a bottle of water I had against the wall had rolled free, snuggled itself against my right hip and then begun to leak at a slow but steady trickle pace. I corrected the situation and then went back to sleep all be it a tad cold, soggy and demoralised.

Today me and JM played a bit of pool and then when Tyler got back from yoga (I should really try that sh*t) we went off to the Chicago Institute of Art. It was very impressive with a massive variety of different styles on offer. We got there quite late so we only had time to cover half of it really before it closed. But to be honest I wasn’t that bothered as train lag (pisses all over jet lag) had set in and I wasn’t in a position to appreciate these masterpieces as much as I might have done otherwise.

So now they have gone off to watch the Chicago Cubs and I’ll meet up with them back here at about half 11 for a couple of late drinks.

The Cubs are a baseball team by the way, the pair of them are mad about it. That’s the whole point of their road trip, 32 days and 15 different MLB games all at different stadiums which will have them cross about 40 different states. Hi-octane no?

I think I might wander over to The Sears Tower myself in the meantime and see what the Windy City skyline is like. It is a bit bloody Mork and Mindy now as well, not good for the barnet but I might even get to have the Freddy Pez parka on the go. Whoo!

I did indeed go up The Sears Tower and it was, erm, okay. 15 dollars is bit pricey though just to go up a lift. Nice enough views though.

The photo is from the art gallery. From the angle you can’t quite tell but it’s a man and a lion. Illegal in 46 states.


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