Send The Bugger Back

The train wasn’t much fun last night, I managed to get a seat but it was that cramped that after 40 minutes or so my knee was aching too much (I’m glad I didn’t let the sods operate on my left one too) so I went and stood for the rest of the trip. It was only 3 and a bit hours though so it could have been a lot worse.

My initial impressions of Krakow were positive as I navigated my way through the old town to the hostel while scouting out Irish bars as potential venues to catch the City vs Wolves match tomorrow.

I think I’m destined to open the World’s greatest hostel (though I’m not sure Manchester would be the best location). I’ve stayed in so many now that I’m in a pretty good position to contrast and compare and I have encountered all the aspects that make a perfect hostel, but never all in one establishment.

This hostel (Mundos) is a very good one. Great location, very clean, nice staff etc. But it has a couple of small issues like the rickety old wooden bunk beds that make a right racket and almost give way when you move your little toe. Also, I can’t get my head around the key policy. There’s 6 people in the room but only 2 keys and you have to leave them at reception when you leave. So sometimes you’ll go up and it’ll be locked, sometimes not, sometimes you can lock it when you leave, sometimes not and so on. It’s like an island crossing logic puzzle involving a 2 man pedalo, a rabid wolf, 2 goats, a can of Fanta and 4 dwarfs. Or maybe not.

A lot of hostels go with a theme (normally a continent, country or city) but for many this theme merely goes as far as a name on the door. Not this gaff, I’m in Kenya and don’t I know it. I’ve got a leopard-skin print blanket and check out the bad boy I’ve got resting on the wall at the side of my bed in the pic below, I feel like Michael Caine (except without eyeshadow on). My name … is Michael Caine.

I’m just on my way to the Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum about 50km away and I can’t really say I’m looking forward to it. But I think it’s something that needs to be experienced.

Well it was horrible as expected but exceptionally well presented by on site guides who it’s clearly very personal to. It’s so eerie seeing piles and piles of shoes, spectacles, combs and even human hair. The constant scores of morbid and disgusting facts you hear is an assault on the ears, it’s just hard to get your head around the sheer scale of what went on. Free speech is one thing but I can’t believe there are still people on this planet who are Holocaust deniers.

I’ve been trying to figure out the best way of getting to Bratislava (that’s in Slovakia Mum) from here on Sunday and a train seems likely but the only direct one is a night train which gets in at the awkward time of half 5 in the morning. Another one requires a couple of changes and takes a bit longer but it gets in at half 6 in the evening, which is much more convenient so that is likely the one I’ll opt for. Either train is over 50 quid though, buggery.

After Bratislava I’ll move on to Vienna, which won’t take long as they’re the closest 2 capitals in Europe. Then it gets a little bit trickier and I need to have a little think but it’s a good chance it’s The Balkans.

After my outing today I’m feeling a little bit downbeat and sombre so I’m just going to take it easy, get some food and then have a few cheap beers in the hostel.

I’ve found a lovely little well priced restaurant round the corner called ‘Kilmaty Poludina’ and have ordered Pierogi with meat filling (traditional Polish-style dumplings baked on butter and served with mixed salad). Of course with the obligatory pint of Zwiec.

I seem to eat out nearly every night which may not seem like the best course of action for budget travel, but it’s so cheap (the meal tonight wasn’t much over a fiver with a drink) round these parts it makes sense. When I hit Western Europe I reckon I’ll be reviewing my strategy.

PS I started to doubt my own sanity earlier. I kept hearing really loud wolf whistles and other impressive sound effects every now and again while I was eating, but I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from. There was only one couple in the part of the restaurant I’m in and it kept coming from their direction, I begun to wonder if the guy had amazing voice throwing powers like Keith Harris or the bloke from Police Academy (I can’t remember his name but not Mahoney or Hightower). Shortly after I spotted the bottom of a covered birdcage behind them. Phew, not one slice short of a Hovis after all.